Do my skinny jean make me look...skinny

I dream about sweets..

The question I pose is, can your dreams make you fat? I hope not, I still need to be able to fit into my hipster uniform! Don't act all vague like you don't know.

Hipster uniform consists of the following: 

• Skinny jeans 
• Flannel or a V-neck (depending on your mood) 
• Hoodie 
• Chucks, or as of lately Sperry topsiders (the real deal, not some bull***t brand of boat shoes) 

In this outfit, you look like you don't care. Great, now your ready to get your emo on. Rad.

I have a multitude of pictures, just like this one, all over the place. When I see cupcakes, aside from wanting to shove them in my face hole, I take pictures of them, as if they were my kids (even thought I have no kids, but that's how I imagine it would be). I'm pretty sure I should be roughly 273 lbs. 


Cupcakes pop up the most, but Ritter Sports have been showing up lately as well. The Ritter Sport with the butter biscuit covered in hazelnut, I don't f**k around.


Make no mistake people, I have an addiction. 
Reasons to eat cupcakes:

• The sun is out 
• I'm sad because they just discontinued my favorite brand of...who gives a f**k
• It's raining
• I'm going to the movies and it's in the same mall, I'll just get cupcakes instead of movie snacks
• It's cloudy
• My favorite sik local band just broke up..fart noise
• It's a f****ng Tuesday, or any day of the week that ends with "day"

Guess what, no matter how much I "hate my dad" (I love my dad, oh the irony of being a hipster), cupcakes are always there. I fear that cupcakes will always win. Over almost everything.


Here are a couple things I'm over today:

1. People posting pictures of their babies
2. People getting engaged
3. That awkward moment when.... people keep using that F****ng phrase. STOP IT. Seriously, it's awful, don't use it anymore jerks.

This album came out and has been ruling my life. It crushes.